RELATIONSHIP: Eliminate the Rambo mindset

Our teens might come home with contraband in their backpacks: cigarettes, porn, or pot. It doesn’t matter what the contraband is. We are shocked, then livid, then disappointed, then hurt. Then we have to decide what to do. Normally, we choose to wade in with guns blazing. Continue Reading…

LONG-RANGE VISION: Sorting teens out

The problem with my teenagers turned out to be me.

As Anna and Patrick reached their teen years, they began this natural, God-ordained transition into adulthood. Their bodies were changing, their emotions deepening, their faces changing. They were thinking their own thoughts and questioning ours. Everything about them was in process.

Except me. Continue Reading…

COMMUNICATION: We all need a word-wash

Ernie (not the muppet) was my friend in my first year of college. He was a solid, good guy—the kind of person you want as a friend. He was one of those people who had no guile about him but spoke his mind in trust and openness, often making himself vulnerable for a good-natured jab or maybe a humorous quip by those who were near. Unfortunately, I played that role with Ernie. In what I thought was “just joking,” I often turned his words into a laugh for others who were present. One day, Ernie had enough. He told me—in the middle of our little group—that he was sick and tired of my constant ridicule of him, that he was deeply hurt, and that our friendship was ended. Then he walked away. . .and out of my life. Continue Reading…

INTEGRITY: Guidance From The Father

I met an impressive young couple very recently. Bright, obviously happy with one another and with their two young daughters, they had come to our school to enroll their girls.

As I always do in those initial parent interviews, I asked why they had decided to enroll their girls at CCS. Right away I realized that this couple was motivated by God’s word. They were living Biblically as much as they possibly could. This Biblical mindset was moving them to consider alternatives that might be the best for their children. This is God’s way:

Parents set the course

for the benefit of the children. Continue Reading…

DISCIPLINE, LONG-RANGE VISION: Exhausted but glad!

I saw Georgie the other day; only I shouldn’t say his name is Georgie. Now it’s George; he’s married with a three-year-old daughter. I remembered one of my first encounters with him when he was in sixth grade. He was sent to the office because he simply would not do as the teacher asked. When the secretary told him to sit down, he defiantly muttered, “You can’t tell me what to do.” Georgie was building quite a resume in his first week at our school.

Upon returning to the office, I saw him standing there resolutely, imagining that the whole world was against him. At that moment in his life, that was probably close to the truth.

I guided him into my office and we began to talk. Again, Georgie was difficult, unreasonable, and defiant. In normal circumstances like that, I prescribe a good old-fashioned middle school spanking. Georgie was a prime candidate.

After checking his file, I noted that his dad wished to be called before Georgie would be spanked. I dialed his number. When he answered, I explained the situation and ended by saying that Georgie needed to be spanked. Then I added, “I can do it or you can come do it.” He said, “I’ll come.” Continue Reading…

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