Communication is the Relationship!

Our fifth child, Jean-Luc is a goal-setting, “get it done NOW” kind of guy. Recognizing that this often hurts relationships, he decided to focus more on building relationships. A friend of our family who seems to have a gift in relationships is Jamie Johnson. So Jean-Luc asked him how to build better relationships. Continue Reading…

Discipline: To spank or not to spank (Tip #8b)

When you picture a child receiving a spanking, what picture is in your mind? What do you see happening? Many people see abusive words, uncontrolled adult passions, and ineffective results.

In August of 2006, an article was published in Parenting magazine about spanking. It simply stated that between the ages of three and four, 94% of children receive at least one spanking. I was astounded! With all the fuss against spanking in today’s U.S. culture, it seemed to me an unbelievable statistic. But the truth is that almost all of us, at some point, spank our children. Continue Reading…

REWARDS: PART OF THE OBEDIENCE PLAN

Danny was only two, but he was learning to obey. Obedience does not come easily for some two-year-olds. But this time he succeeded and the whole family was there. Keith swept him into his arms and began marching around the living room, singing, “Let’s have a parade, for Danny obeyed.” Soon everyone was in on it. And Dan got a good taste of the joy of obedience. Continue Reading…

Punish with the big picture in mind (Tip #8 out of 8)

Have you ever said, “Because I said so, that’s why!”?

If you have, stop saying it.

Who do you think you are?

Pat Williams tells the story of the Alpha male in the airport who simply loses it when his flight is delayed. He throws an “adult” tantrum, berates the airline, raises his voice, and finally screams at the attendant behind the boarding counter, “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?” The attendant calmly reaches for the microphone and makes this announcement: Continue Reading…

DISCIPLINE: Use anger early in small doses. (#7 out of 8 great tips)

We all saw it coming. Patricia and I were visiting with a friend, calmly chatting at the kitchen table, sipping iced tea. The resident four-year-old came in, opened the fridge, and with one hand began to remove a full gallon pitcher of freshly made orange juice. You see it coming, too. Disaster in the making. As the pitcher came off the shelf, it tilted, dropped, and splattered orange juice all over the floor and nearby cabinets.

Our friend lost it. She was on her feet, screaming, belittling, name-calling. Her anger was too much and too late, doing more damage than good. Harmful and sinful, we’ve all done it.

She became angry too late.

Let me explain. Continue Reading…

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